Believe it or not, bullying don’t’ just happen in the school yard. Bullies in the workplace is more common than you think, and you’ve probably witness or maybe even been a victim of a workplace bully yourself.
4 Types of Workplace Bullies
The Screamer
The Screamer, as the word says it, is the type that raises their voice to let everyone know they are there. They will shout, yell and scream to anyone, about anyone and at anyone, in any situation or location and are intimidating.
They put fear into their victims and all the other co-workers around them. They believe they are always right and are hard to work with in general because you never now when or what will tick them off.
People tent to be extra careful around them to avoid triggering a Screamer, some may even avoid them all together.
Backing away from a screamer will only aggress him more. The best way deal with the tantrums is to stand your ground. Concentrate on your breathing, and don’t let him or her see that their reaction is intimidating you. Advise them in a calm manner , that they will listen but not in a disrespectful way, and only when they have calmed down.
The Schemer or the two headed snake
we all knows someone that always gossips on others. They always have something nasty to juicy to say about someone else, especially when they are not in the room. Yet they make you feel like they are your friend.
Sometimes you think, “do they gossip about me when I’m not around?” Most likely yes.
Schemers bullies in the workplace will gossip, lie, manipulate and make up stories. They often do this for their own interest in going up in the company or making themselves look good in the eyes of others.
To avoid a part of their play, do not engage in their gossips, or in any of their lies. Keep it professional in order to avoid encouraging them to continue their scheme. Do not spread any thing in what they tell you about others, they will use it against you and you will become the one that your co-worker will lose trust in the workplace.
The Gatekeeper or Freezer
These people often have some sort of authorities of a schedule or a workload. And uses this power for themselves and may favor co-worker over others.
It could be the meeting room schedule, a supply locker or any other aspects that you need in order to do your work properly.
In a nutshell, some will have better schedules than others or have better supplies then others.
Gatekeepers bullies in the workplace have issue with controlling their emotions or to understand others emotions, the more you yell or talk about them to their supervisor, the more it fuels them to “freeze” you out of whatever power they can have against you.
Be professional, have your request in writing. Say please and thank you. Have your boss or supervisor in CC showing them that you have properly requested whatever it is you are asking of them.
The Criticizer
You guessed it, the one that constantly criticize your work regardless how hard you try to get it right.
This person will may use passive aggressive words, or dirty looks, in general picking on you just making you feel like your not smart enough or good enough to do your job.
In reality they are the ones that feels weak.
They use this on you to make themselves feel stronger, more important or more senior to you in some way.
The criticizer may even try in he or her own way to get the credit for your good work.
The only way I know best to not be a victim of these criticizers, is to not accept what they say, or to realize somehow or someway that your are good at what you do, you are nothing of what they say about you, and if your strong enough to stand up for yourself and asked them. “What good is it to you to talk to me like that? Or to make me feel like I’m nothing?” These type of question are unexpected and they might not be able to answer you and simply walk away of shame.
Bullies in the workplace are more often than not hire places in the company, and can be extremely difficult to get your point of view across with co-worker.
Dealing with bullies in the workplace
Confronting them one-on-one
We’ve all heard other adult say to their kids: “If a kid hits you, hit them back.”
Or doctors telling parents: “If your toddler bites, bite them back.”
Same goes in a workplace, but make it professional. Give them their own medicine. Learn how to talk back in your defense.
Practice in the mirror if you have to.
Engage confident body language, straight back, head high and ask the bully, why he or she is doing the things they doing, by being specific with details and making them understand how you and others around you are feeling and that their behavior is unacceptable and unprofessional. Ask them if they can approach the situation differently. The bully might be unprepared for that confrontation and back down on some of their actions over time.
If you don’t the situation may get worst.
Talk to your supervisor (or Human Resources)
If talking to your bully doesn’t help, start engaging with them by email, so you have record and documents of your abuse.
Once you have enough evidence, talk with a supervisor, a boss or Human Resources. Report the abuse and the fact that you have talked to your bully without results.
Explain that the behavior is affecting your work and without it you can perform a lot better, and make it a better working environment not only for yourself but maybe for everyone else around them as well.
In any professional environment, this type of conversation are confidential between yourself and the other person you have chose to get help inside of the workplace.
Last Resort
If Human resource as failed to engage in the situation, or the situation have become worse, perhaps it is time you look for another job or workplace.
You don’t have to wait to talk to your bully or talk to HR in order to look for another job elsewhere. Talking to your bully might aggress them and the situation may get worst.
If HR does not have policies regarding bullying and you are the first complaint being reported on this person, HR may not take any action on the situation and the bullying may progress.
Staying in an unhealthy workplace can easily affect your mental state of mind and push you into a burnout or mental breakdown. (as explained in my previous blogs) Take care of yourself out side of work, don’t over think it.
Controlling the situation
Unfortunately, you can’t avoid Bullies in the work place. Bullies are everywhere and often they are in the higher ranks in the company. We can learn to control the situation when we encounter one. Ignore their actions show them that they don’t bother you. Confronted them if the situation is getting out of hand. Report them to manager or Human Resources and get some help to ease the situation. Walk away and find somewhere healthier for you and your family or loves ones.
When you are part of a team, regardless of your title, your statue or your situation, being humiliated, manipulated, or yelled should not be acceptable.
Everyone deserve to be respected.
Here’s my story on bullying
04 How I was bullied in the workplace
External references and Recommended youtube videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvPqSn-W7QY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bw4In0uIGi0